Once Our Eyes Watered
by excel.siors
Summary: Sometimes life's greatest blessings come in the form of our most trying hardships. Just Harvey and Donna and a little darkness before the dawn.


**Um please, no one be angry at me for this. I've never written for this fandom before, but the idea came to me when I was trying to figure out a way for a reboot set long in the future that made sense without Meghan, and, well, this is the result.**

**Hope the cuteness overcompensates for the angst, and if not, oh well. (Special thanks to a great friend for proofreading this ily)**

"_We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered."_

_\- Tom Stoppard, _Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead

They're in the private dining room section of the Olive Garden in Times Square. It's Heidi's eighth birthday, and she insisted. He really had anticipated this before asking her where she wanted to go, but he'd given her the choice nonetheless. He didn't even try bargaining for a real Italian place this time.

He, himself, is seated directly next to said birthday girl (also at her insistence), and across from Donna, who has just vanished to the bathroom, Gia tagging along behind to fix the makeup he very specifically remembers telling her she was not wearing out in public, but which somehow managed to follow her to the restaurant anyways. He'd been hoping he could keep that under control until she was at least thirteen, but Donna, ever the negotiator that she was (especially where he was concerned) had assured him that special occasions require special preparation. And so the hot pink lipstick and eyeliner got to stay.

There are times when he really wishes she was more like her older sister. Carmen, who is suddenly approaching her thirteenth birthday, is quick to shy away from the mere thought of makeup, and for this, he is extremely grateful. Hopelessly dedicated to the idea that the oldest will somehow avoid attracting the attention of the male species for some time, he's less concerned with her growing older than he is the middle child. Gia's fascination with all things girly and all things _female_ in general gives him more anxiety than he'd ever admit to anyone else. Even at ten, she knows what she's after, and much like her mother, she'll go about getting it, no matter the costs.

Heidi, on the other hand, was another story altogether. He's still yet to grasp exactly what it is about her that's made him think of her as his best friend, but she's definitely that. Maybe it's the way she's just the perfect mix of her sisters. Maybe it's the way she's been on the baseball field since she was old enough to sit up straight. Maybe it's the way she calls him her "Jean Valjean" in that horrible French accent she picked up from listening to _Les Mis_ one too many times with Donna. Or maybe it's the way that, at this very moment, she's harassing the dark-haired woman on her other side about her dinner choice this evening.

"It's just wrong!" Heidi insists. "You can't eat fish at Olive Garden."

"I can," says the woman, "and I will."

"But the pasta!" Heidi insists.

The brunette shrugs as if to say, "oh well."

Harvey takes this as his cue to jump in, "She won't eat pasta because she's embarrassed."

The woman gives him a warning look over the child's shoulder, but Heidi is already pouncing, "Embarrassed about what?"

"Harvey—"

"She doesn't like to order pasta because one time she told me she can make it come out of her nose, and I've never let her live it down every time she has noodles."

Heidi turns the other way, "Is that true?"

Reluctantly, the woman nods.

"Can you do it now?" Heidi practically squeals, bouncing in her seat.

"I don't know—"

"Please, Scottie," Heidi begs. "For me? On my birthday."

Scottie sighs, "I don't even know if I can do it anymore. I haven't done it in a long time."

"Just try, please."

"Not in public, squirt," Scottie tells the child affectionately.

"I'll make sure no one sees you, I promise!" Heidi assures her.

Scottie shoots Harvey a glare, this one saying, "it's all your fault." He smirks back at her and winks.

The argument between child and adult continues on for an extended length of time, during which Harvey turns his attention instead to the other end of the table, where Carmen is very heatedly explaining something a teacher at school said to her friend. Harvey watches as the dark-skinned man across from her seems engrossed in her tale.

He smiles fondly at the sight, just starting to wonder when it is Donna and Gia will make their way back to the table when they appear around the corner.

"What took you so long?" he asks as they take their seats.

"We saw some guy she knows on the way and had to stop for forever," Gia complains, but there's a mischievous glint in her eyes that gives Harvey pause.

He raises an eyebrow at his wife, "Some guy, huh?"

Donna suddenly shifts uncomfortably in a way that's very unfamiliar to him, avoiding his gaze.

"_Thomas_," Gia adds. "Wasn't that his name?"

Harvey feels his jaw clench involuntarily as soon as the name leaves the girl's lips.

"Yes," Donna says, glaring at the child. "Thank you for that."

Gia purses her lips and plucks a breadstick from the basket in front of her, "You gonna tell me how you know him, now that he's gone?"

"It was—" Donna starts, but when she looks up and locks her gaze with Harvey's, she pauses. "He used to be a client of Uncle Louis's."

Gia looks unsatisfied, "There's more than that."

Donna shakes her head, "Nope. Maybe he had a bit of a crush on me, but it never amounted to anything. Not my type, honestly."

At this, Gia laughs, "You're more interested in lawyers, huh?"

Donna chuckles softly, "And blondes."

This makes both Harvey and Gia smile, and he watches as the girl finally takes a bite of the breadstick in her hand. Once she sets it down, she pulls her phone out of her pocket and starts messing with it, attention already directed elsewhere. He looks over at his wife now that Gia's distracted.

"Kessler, huh?"

Donna shakes her head, "I was going to tell you when we got _home_."

"Mmhmm," he hums in response.

"I was," Donna says defensively, even though he can tell she knows he's only goading her. "He asked me about her."

She nods towards Gia, and Harvey sighs, "What'd you tell him?"

"The truth," says Donna, twirling her straw around in her drink. "She's ours."

_Ours_.

He certainly wasn't expecting that level of candidness, but it's simple enough. He doesn't really respond to that, taking a moment to look at the ten-year-old in question. He used to not pay much attention to how much she looks like her mother. Now he can't unsee it. Every time he looks at her, all tan skinned and dark haired and soft gaze, her mother is all he can see. Carmen as well. They both have more of her in them than they do their father. Heidi, however, was a female version of her dad—inside and out. From her light hair to her brilliant mind, she was certainly her father, through and through.

But there was also a part of her that was Donna. A part of her that was Harvey. A part of all three of them that was already getting lost in the mix, in this new state of being that they'd only been accustomed to for about seven months now. Already they were conforming, and as proud as he is to call them his own, he wishes they could go back to a time when they weren't.

"_Nothing unusual, nothing strange_

_Close to nothing at all_

_The same old scenario, the same old rain_

_And there's no explosions here_

_Then something unusual, something strange_

_Comes from nothing at all"_

Harvey is forty-five when Carmen is born. He was supposed to be married for two months already, but Donna insisted they wait until their goddaughter made her appearance the day Rachel told them she was pregnant. And so instead, he finds himself taking an entire week off of work to fly to Seattle for the birth of said goddaughter. At seven pounds and eight ounces, Carmen Edith Ross is completely healthy and easily the cutest human being he's ever laid eyes on the second he sees her.

Curled up in her mother's arms, eyes shut and fingers curled into tiny little fists, Harvey wonders how it's possible to love someone this much this fast, but Donna assures him it's perfectly normal. They take several photos, each getting a turn to hold her before they leave Rachel to recover in peace.

Visits become more frequent with a child in the mix. Not that they hadn't made excuses to see their best friends before, but they're hopping from coast to coast on a near bi-monthly basis, making sure to FaceTime more often, sending gifts wrapped in thick orange envelopes signed, "Uncle Harvey and Aunt Donna."

Gia Michelle makes her entrance only two years later, but they only take a couple of days to visit her, more frequent vacations calling for shorter hours of visitation. When Heidi Elizabeth comes along, it's somewhat unexpectedly early, and it's about a month or so before they're able to see her in person. When they do get around to it, though, they make it to Seattle late in the night and are awoken the next morning by Carmen and Gia jumping excitedly on their bed, raving about their newest sister.

They spend Christmas together every year. Carmen has a little ballet recital for the holidays which they couldn't possibly miss, and without a real family of their own, it just makes more sense to spend it with the little munchkins. Christmas is always more fun with kids, anyways. It's twelve years of birthdays and surprise visits and summer vacations together that keeps them close despite the distance between them.

Until suddenly it isn't.

That Friday night, the one where everything changes, they're out on a triple date, one he was guilted into going on by Donna of course. He'd been complaining all week about having to spend their alone time with their coworkers, but Samantha has started becoming serious with some new woman and asked if she could introduce her to her friends, so Donna and Katrina had been tasked with dragging their respective husbands out to some bar they'd definitely never been to in all their years. Already anticipating a long night, he starts downing drinks the second he gets the opportunity. And if he isn't actually drunk, he's certainly a bit tipsy, very well on the way to becoming significantly intoxicated if he keeps going at this rate. The only thing currently getting him through it is watching Donna and Samantha dancing to some overplayed 80s song he's heard a billion times but never bothered to learn the name of.

He's laughing at his wife, genuine smile on his face despite his reluctance at being here at all when she catches his eye and motions for him to join. He immediately shakes his head, knowing full well he'll cave in less than two minutes, but wanting her to come to him instead. She does so, grabbing his hands and pulling him to her with a very sultry look he knows means she's definitely more tanked than he is, causing a smirk to break out on his face. He wraps a hand around her waist, yanking her so that they're pressed together and is just getting ready to whisper something in her ear that's sure to make her blush when he feels his phone vibrating in his pocket.

His first reaction is to ignore the call, but he remembers it's certainly nearing midnight now, and whatever this is must be something important because everyone at the firm knows he isn't to be bothered past 8:00 on Friday nights. He removes the offending object, despite Donna's slight pout in protest, and goes to check the screen. Seeing Robert Zane's name light up along with a photo of the man holding his youngest granddaughter doesn't immediately register as oddly as it would've had he been drinking less. It isn't until he answers, clicking the volume so that it's all the way up, that he hears the man's tone of voice and he just _knows_.

He isn't sure he's processed what Robert is saying as he's saying it, or if there exists a multiverse in which some other version of himself already knows and therefore _he_ knows here and now because he certainly doesn't feel entirely connected right now. His brain, heart, and body are in three completely different places and the only thing anchoring himself to this earth right now is Donna's right hand still clasped in his left. When he hangs up, he knows she can see the change in him. Robert's words still shuffling around in his head, he tries and fails to relay the message to her the way it'd come to him, but can't get it to come out. He gives her a short, "Mike...and Rachel."

His words are choked, voice cracking, eyes already blurring and burning at an alarming speed. He wills her to understand without the rest, knowing she can and feeling as if there were never a time he needed her to more than this very moment. She does.

They're on the next flight to Seattle in less than an hour. A grapevine of connections and news headlines had gotten the message across to Katrina before they'd been able to explain their current situation, and suddenly they've got two tickets out of JFK and only a single suitcase full of essentials and one change of clothes each. He doesn't think they've let go of each other's hands once.

When the chaos of the last hour finally settles, once they're locked into their seats, fingers tangled together on their shared armrest, he finally lets himself breathe. He shouldn't have done that. The second he lets his mind slip even just a moment to understand the impact of what's happening right now, his tears are out in full force. Her hand is shaking in his, and she's matching his sobs melodically. They're probably drawing all kinds of attention to themselves, but he can't really bring himself to lighten up just for that fact. He tries to remember the last time he cried this much. About five years ago, probably the worst day of his life until tonight.

_He finds her in the bathroom, the cries of his name on her tongue fading as she's overcome with tears. He notices immediately the reason for her outburst, and though for a microsecond he feels himself take a breath because she'll be alright, he knows the reaction he's really having is one of immense grief. He kneels down, strategically getting as close to her as he can manage without making an even bigger mess._

"_Hey," he whispers, using his fingers to lift her chin and force her to stare at him with bloodshot eyes that rip his heart into pieces, "It's okay. You did nothing wrong, and we just keep trying, alright? We can try the thing the doctor said with the—"_

"_No."_

_He stops altogether when she snaps at him. He can't, for the life of him, understand what she's saying._

"_What?" he asks carefully._

"_I said, _no_," she repeats, less forcefully but with no less determination. "I don't want to keep trying. I can't...I can't do it again, Harvey, I don't think I can handle it...I'm not...I just don't…"_

_When she starts mumbling incoherently, he crushes her against him, kissing the top of her head fiercely as her body is wracked with sobs that soak right through his shirt. He understands now. This, the final straw for her, is when they'd gotten so far. Their parents knew, Mike and Rachel knew, the _girls_ knew. Not like the last two times. This was real, so extremely real and it was _everything_, and now it's slipped away from them again._

"_Okay," he agrees. "We don't have to. We can stop."_

_He doesn't ask her if she wants to explore other options. He doesn't tell her that she's stronger than any woman he's ever known and that this doesn't change a thing. He doesn't do anything but hold her. And when she's all cried out and he thinks he can't bear to let her see his own tears, he scoops her up and turns them so his back is to the wall and she's situated between his legs with his arms around her waist. _

_They don't make any attempt to move or clean up the mess for a long while. They just sit and find solace in one another. Gentle kisses pressed against the back of her neck, soft thumbs rubbing the back of his hands over her stomach, something aesthetically beautiful about the stark contrast of the dark scarlet against the white marble floor. He wonders briefly if this is the most pain they'll ever experience because if so, perhaps it's not so bad, after all._

He'd been wrong, of course. This—_this_ was worse. This feeling of his soul being ripped right out of his body, heart smashed on the ground, every bad feeling he's ever had brought right to the surface and multiplied by a thousand. Because they'd lost someone important then, but losing someone you've never met is never even a fraction of the pain of losing someone you've had everything with.

It has a certain poetic irony to it, he thinks, that the last time he came close to feeling this much pain, he was losing a child, and now he's getting three.

"_Sometimes the tears we cry_

_Are more than any heart can take_

_We hurt, just keep it inside_

_Small wonder that it starts to break"_

It's a twenty-five-minute ride from the airport to the house where the girls are currently being kept. It's getting late, but it doesn't deter them from barging into the home of the neighbors who'd called Robert just mere hours ago to report the incident. Parents of a friend of Carmen's, or something along those lines. Harvey hadn't really been paying that much attention. The second they walk through the door, Carmen and Gia throw themselves at their grandparents, but Heidi hangs back, waiting for Harvey and Donna to approach. Her eyes are familiarly swollen, reminding him of all the times he's helped her through scraped knees and lost tee ball games and every time her mother scolded her and he was the one there to deal with the aftermath.

He squats down to her level, trying to keep from losing it again, feeling Donna's hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, pal," he greets her, using that term of endearment he's always saved only for her.

She regards him carefully for a moment, "What took you so long?"

Harvey smiles the slightest bit, "Came as quick as we could."

"Come faster next time," she pouts, and before he can respond, she's standing up and launching herself into Donna's arms.

Head on her shoulder, Heidi squeezes her neck tightly while Donna rubs her back and lets a few hot tears slip from her eyes. After another long moment of silence, Heidi finally lifts her head and looks directly into Donna's eyes.

"You're here now?" she asks softly, voice cracking.

Donna places a lingering kiss to her forehead and nods, "We're here now."

Soon after, Gia and Carmen join their huddle. More hugs and kisses are exchanged.

"This means you're our parents now, right?"

Harvey glances down at Gia, whose big hazel eyes are boring deep into his, melting his heart.

"Yeah," he tells her. "We stick together from now on."

Gia nods, "Does that mean we're moving to New York? Or are you coming here?"

"I don't know," he answers honestly. "We haven't really had much time to think about it. We'll work everything out soon, though, okay?"

"Okay," she nods again, buries her head in his chest. He wraps an arm around her slender form, closes his eyes.

For now, this moment, this brief little bit of time, he's inclined to believe everything might turn out just fine.

"_Darling, I will bring you home_

_And if you wanna cry_

_I am here to dry your eyes_

_And in no time, you'll be fine"_

The next couple of days pass in a sort of haze. Harvey and Donna spend countless hours planning funerals, going over expenses, handling the conditions of the will. Robert and Laura make a lot of the necessary calls and take care of distracting the girls while their godparents do all the dirty work.

They end up deciding to have the memorial back in New York. Most of Rachel's family is there; all of their oldest friends are there. It just makes the most sense. They pay for a catering service to feed the family and friends at the Zane house afterward, and if the memorial wasn't torture enough in itself, Harvey thinks he can't possibly stand another second of having to visit with people paying their respects, reiterating just how sorry they are, how unfair and _sad_ it all is. As if he wasn't already aware. And he can tell the kids are feeling the same.

After a while, when all the fake smiles and handshakes and condolences become too much, he sneaks the girls away. They end up on the staircase, one bowl of fruit between them and his tie hanging loose around his neck. Heidi perches herself in his lap, Gia sitting with her legs stretched across the stair above them, and Carmen crouched just a bit below.

Heidi entertains them all by attempting to peel her grapes before she eats them, Gia scrunching up her face in disgust at the way they look when she does so. Harvey watches from behind his glasses with a half-hearted smile, and Carmen allows a light chuckle to escape her at the antics of her younger sisters. They don't even hear the clatter of heels against the hardwood until they're only a foot or so away.

"There you guys are," says Donna as she approaches them. "Thought you'd all gone and left me to the wolves."

"We needed a break," Harvey replies simply, toying affectionately with one of Heidi's braids.

Donna places a hand on the banister, using it to keep her balance as she removes both of her shoes and sets them down next to Carmen.

"Can we leave now?" Heidi begs, laying back to rest her head on Harvey's shoulder.

"Soon," Donna promises. She wraps an arm around Carmen's shoulder, tugging the girl to her.

Gia moves to undo her hair from the pristine bun it's been in all morning, runs her fingers through the silky locks to keep it from tangling, and then drops her chin onto Harvey's other shoulder.

"I'm tired," she complains.

Donna looks up at the ten-year-old with an understanding gaze, "I know. Maybe we can all take a nap before Grandpa and Nanna come over for dinner."

"I don't wanna take a nap," Heidi protests, sticking her bottom lip out in a bit of a pout.

Harvey gently tugs the braid he's been messing with, "I'll let you sleep in our bed."

She ponders this for a moment, then, "Alright, fine."

Donna smiles. She presses a kiss to the top of Carmen's head and reaches for Harvey's hand to lace their fingers together.

They sit for a little while longer in relative silence before rejoining the masses. With a couple of heartfelt thank you's and more forced smiles, they make their way outside, leaving Robert and Laura to see their company out on their own. By the time they're finally in the driveway, Heidi is a dead weight in Harvey's arms. Gia and Carmen are each attached to one of Donna's hands, and they all seem to be moving in slow motion. The two older girls fall against each other in the back seat of the car, fast asleep before they even make it out of the neighborhood. Harvey keeps Donna's left hand locked in his right one the whole way back into the city.

"_So say the Lord's prayer twice, hold your babies tight_

_Surely someone will reach out a hand_

_And show you a safe place to land"_

He doesn't really remember how the idea comes to him, just that it does, and after talking it over with Donna late into the night, or early in the morning, he finds that it just feels right. They need to get away, to just _be_ for a while. And so later, when they're putting half-eaten bowls of cereal in the sink and shuffling around sleepily, he calls them all into the den.

"I want to run an idea by you," he tells them all.

They look back expectantly but offer no response, so he dives right in.

"Why don't we go on vacation?"

"Vacation?" Gia repeats. "To where?"

"Out west," says Harvey. "We can spend all summer out there. Just us, the open sky, and endless adventure. What do you think?"

They seem to all ponder this for a moment with stoic gazes. Carmen is the first to react, "Can we see the Grand Canyon?"

Harvey smiles softly, "Yeah."

"And Las Vegas?" Gia adds excitedly.

"Yeah."

"And Disneyland!" cries Heidi just as Harvey swoops her up onto his lap.

"And Disneyland," he agrees, Heidi looping her arms around his neck.

Carmen's smile is widening, "And Mount Rushmore!"

Gia squeals, "And Los Angeles!"

"And Disneyland!" Heidi repeats, not to be outdone.

With a chuckle and a glance at each of them, Harvey agrees, "We can do all of that. We're going to see everything there is to see."

"Everything?" Carmen asks, eyebrows raised skeptically and eyes wide in shock.

"Everything," Donna finally pipes in, stepping behind Gia to wrap her arms around her shoulders and pull her close to her chest.

"Won't that take forever?" Carmen wonders.

Harvey smirks, "We've got all summer, don't we?"

"But," Gia begins, "how are we gonna get there?"

"Rent a van," Donna replies easily.

Carmen still looks unsure, "How would we fit enough clothes in there?"

"Won't have to," says Harvey. "We can do laundry."

"Where are we gonna stay?" asks Heidi

"Air B&Bs," Donna rests her chin on top of Gia's hand, the girl reaching to cover her godmother's hands with her own.

"You really thought about everything, huh?" Carmen smiles.

"Aunt Donna thought of everything," Harvey tells her, catching his wife's eye with a smile. "Because she's Donna."

They spend what would typically be another monotonous day of going through the motions of living in a flurry of excitement. Harvey's proposal calls for them to leave as soon as school gets out, and all of the plans must be made as soon as possible, seeing as that's in less than two months. They surf the internet, jotting down a list of must-sees from Monument Valley to Yellowstone Park and everything in between. By the time the sun is setting over the skyline, they've already contacted a place about renting a van just outside the city and booked the first couple of weeks' stays at a few places around Oregon and Idaho.

After making sure the younger two girls are tucked safely into bed, Donna heads for the shower and signals for Harvey to take care of Carmen. He enters with a slight knock on the doorframe, watching as she looks up from her phone.

"All good?" he asks.

"Good as I can be," she responds without thinking—a ritual they've become accustomed to in the last week or so.

He offers her a weak smile, but one he's sure is full of all the love he can muster and walks over to plant a kiss on her forehead.

"Love you, Scout," he tells her affectionately, realizing he probably hasn't called her that in years.

She smiles up at him, "Love you too."

He gives her shoulder a gentle squeeze before moving to walk away.

"You don't have to do it for us, you know," her words stop him just as he's about to reach the door.

He turns, taking in the sight of her, face lit only by the soft glow of the phone in her hands, somber gaze, dark hair framing her shoulders.

"I'm not," he tells her. "I'm not doing it just for you. I'm doing it for all of us."

She looks unconvinced, "Are you sure?"

He nods, "Positive. It'll be good...to get used to being a family, I mean."

"Uncle Harvey," she says, twisting her mouth sympathetically, "we've always been a family."

"You're right," he agrees, smile wide. "Goodnight, Carmen."

"G'night."

"_When the time gets right_

_I'm gonna pick you up_

_And take you far away_

_From trouble my love_

_Under a big old sky_

_Out in a field of green_

_There's gotta be something left for us to believe"_

They both take a leave of absence from the firm. For right now it'll only be the two months left before summer, so they can stay in Seattle with the girls until the school year is over. After that, he isn't so sure.

They've talked about an early retirement, could certainly afford it, but what happens after that? They just sit around at home all day, waiting for the girls to come home from school? He'd quite possibly go nuts. He's certain Donna would.

Before they head back to Seattle, they spend the weekend in Connecticut. He wants the girls to get to know his mother and the rest of this new family of theirs. Hailey teaches Carmen how to work a film camera, and Gia spends hours in the kitchen with Marcus learning all kinds of recipes and how to bake cookies from scratch.

Later that night, when Marcus and his kids have gone home, and Donna is busy getting the girls into bed, Harvey is left alone in the kitchen with Lily, helping her clean up from the evening's activities.

"What do you think about us getting a house in the Hamptons?" he suddenly asks.

She looks up at him, regarding this outburst carefully. It isn't something he's even mentioned to Donna, but he's been thinking more and more about it the past couple of days and wonders what she thinks.

"You mean moving the girls to the Hamptons?" Lily asks for clarification.

Harvey nods, "I know they've only ever known Seattle but...Robert and Laura are in New York, Donna and I...our lives _are_ New York. And maybe it's selfish, but I just thought it might feel a bit like starting over. Like we aren't trying to insert ourselves into their old lives, but making a new home for all of us. We could get a house out by the beach, like Donna's always wanted, send them to a private school with all the other spoiled brats out there, and build a new normal."

Lily stares at him for a while after he's finished his little speech, nodding slowly before returning to her task of wiping down the counter.

"I think," she says carefully, "that whether or not you know it yet, deep down you know what's best for them. And if the Hamptons is what's best, then that's what you ought to do."

When he goes to check on the girls, he finds Gia still wide awake in bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"What are you doing up?" he whispers, hoping not to wake Heidi, who is dead asleep beside her sister.

"Couldn't sleep," Gia shrugs.

Harvey kneels down on the side of the bed and moves her hair from her face, "You okay?"

"Just thinkin'," she sighs. "Uncle Harvey?"

"Hmm?"

"You're...gonna be my dad now, right?"

Harvey feels his mouth open, but no words fall out. He just stares at her for a moment. Then, finally, "I'm...Aunt Donna and I are going to take care of you, if that's what you're asking."

"Yeah, but...you're like my dad, and she's like my mom, so isn't it a little weird we still call you _Uncle_ Harvey and _Aunt_ Donna? You aren't even our real aunt and uncle."

Harvey ponders this, "I...I guess so."

"Maybe we should just...call you, Harvey and Donna," Gia suggests. "Would that be okay?"

She sounds so small, and he reaches out to caress her cheek softly, gaze attempting to soothe both her and himself, "That's perfect,"

"Okay," she smiles, nodding. "I think I'm gonna try and sleep now."

"Alright, princess," he gives her a kiss on her forehead and stands back up straight.

"You haven't called me that in a long time," she says with a yawn.

"No. But I figured we were changing things up, so might as well, right?"

"Right."

He reaches the door and turns around to look at her once more.

'Goodnight..._Harvey_."

"Goodnight, _princess_."

"_But I promise you this_

_I'll always look out for you_

_Yeah, that's what I'll do"_

Their anniversary is May 21st. They had been planning on taking the whole day off of work, spending it going shopping, eating out, doing whatever it is they want to do, but it would be an entire day for themselves. They'd eat dinner at Del Posto, of course, that much would always be the same, but this year it was extra special. This year they'd been together for a quarter of a century. Twenty-five years ago, she came to work at his desk and stole his heart, and he was going to make sure he made every second of this day remind her how grateful he was for that. Except now all of those plans sort of got thrown out the window. They honestly forgot entirely until Donna has to sign something Gia needs to bring into school the next day and notices what day it is.

"May 20th?" she mutters. Then, much louder, "Harvey! Tomorrow is May 21st."

It occurs to him that despite all the chaos of the past two months, this is something still incredibly important to them. He can't come up with a response fast enough before Gia pipes up.

"What's so special about May 21st?" she asks, shoving the form into a binder and placing it in her backpack.

"It's our anniversary," Donna explains, voice very clearly portraying her disappointment.

Gia gives her an odd look, "Didn't you get married in the winter? I definitely remember there being snow in the pictures."

"Not our wedding anniversary," Harvey corrects. "From when we first started working together."

"Oh," says Gia. "Do you celebrate it?"

"Only every year for the past two and a half decades," Donna sighs. "_Someone_ just kept on insisting…"

She throws Harvey a look that makes him roll his eyes and approach them at the table.

Gia smiles softly, "I think it's sweet."

"She thinks it's _sweet_," Harvey replies, eyes wide and trained on his wife.

"Yeah, yeah," she waves him off, but he knows she's just trying to cover up how upset she truly is.

"What are you doing this year?" Gia suddenly asks.

Harvey and Donna exchange a look worth a thousand words and every regret.

"We didn't exactly have time to plan anything," Harvey tells her gently.

Gia purses her lips together, "You're missing your anniversary because of us?"

Donna immediately switches gears, fake smile plastered onto her face so seamlessly that if he didn't know her as well as he did, he wouldn't even question its sincerity.

"Oh, of course not!" she assures the girl. "It's just that we got so caught up with you guys, it didn't seem like that big of a deal anymore. We'd much rather spend the day with you than celebrating on our own."

Gia seems convinced enough, and Harvey lets out a small sigh when the conversation is dropped.

Much later that night, he and Donna are snuggled closely on the couch, and he can tell it's still bothering her.

"I'm sorry," he whispers softly, lips pressed against her cheek.

She huffs bitterly, "I shouldn't be so caught up on this. It's so trivial. There's so much more going on I should be worried about. I feel guilty for even being disappointed, you know?"

"I know," he says, not because he feels the same but because of course, Donna would worry about even her own _feelings_ coming across selfishly. "But it's our thing. It's always been. And just because everything's blowing up around us doesn't make it any less important than it has been the other twenty-four times."

He tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, and suddenly notices the clock on the wall behind her reads 12:07.

"Hey," he smiles, nodding his head in that direction. "It's after midnight."

She turns to look where his gaze is pointed, flipping back to face him with a smile of her own.

"Happy Anniversary, Paulsen," he mumbles, lips already pressed against hers, unable to keep the giddiness from his tone.

She breaks away from the kiss after a moment but keeps her face close enough to his that when she mumbles back, he can feel the vibration of it.

"Happy Anniversary, Specter."

"_When the sorrow comes_

_And you don't know why_

_Climb into my arms_

_I'll hold you through the night"_

Harvey wakes the next morning to a lot of muffled noises. The first thing his sleep-addled brain can manage to piece together into a coherent sentence is a high-pitched shriek of, "There it is!"

A couple other voices chime in with a, "Shhh!"

He blinks his eyes open, gaze landing on three small figures at the end of his bed.

"Way to go, Heidi," he hears clearly and can now distinguish as Gia's voice. "You woke him up!"

"I didn't mean to!" Heidi's voice comes out in a whine.

Harvey stretches and reaches for the glasses on his nightstand so that he can see more clearly.

"Mornin' sunshines," he greets them, feeling Donna stirring beside him.

With his glasses finally in place, and his eyes now adjusting to the light filtering in through the bedroom windows, he can make out each girl distinctly, and the tray of food Carmen is holding in her hands.

"Well this is certainly a surprise," he hears Donna say with a yawn.

"We made you pancakes," Gia explains unnecessarily as Carmen moves forward to set the tray down on the bed.

"With strawberries and bananas!" Heidi adds with a little bounce, "We _wanted_ to use whipped cream so we could do little smiley faces, but we couldn't find it. That's cause you stole it."

She points accusingly at the nightstand next to him, and his eyes go wide as he finally makes the connection. He whips his head around to look at Donna, who's trying very hard not to bust out laughing, which makes it nearly impossible for him to contain his own amusement.

"Why would you bring whipped cream into your bedroom?" Gia asks, genuinely confused.

"Uh…" Harvey falters slightly, nothing but memories of the night before flooding his brain. Memories of uses for whipped cream that could definitely not be shared with these three children. "Midnight snack?"

Fortunately, this needs no further explanation and causes the girls to giggle.

"You're silly, Harvey," Heidi laughs, then hops onto the bed beside the tray. "Come on! Eat your breakfast!"

"It looks delicious," Donna offers, sitting up and moving one of the plates onto her lap. "To what do we owe the pleasure?"

"It was Gia's idea," Carmen offers. "She told us last night how you guys had to miss your anniversary dinner for us, and we thought maybe we could do a little something to make up for it."

Harvey feels his heart melting and exchanges another look with his wife who is certainly close to tears.

"Well that's incredibly sweet, but you didn't have to," Donna manages. "You shouldn't feel like you owe us anything."

"We don't," Gia assures her. "But we wanted to do this for you."

"And that's not all," Heidi jumps in. "You get to go on a date tonight."

"A what?" Harvey splutters.

"A date," Carmen repeats. "I called Allison and asked if we could stay over at her house tonight, and her parents said it was cool. I was going to get them to help me make reservations for you guys too, but I wasn't sure where you'd want to go, so we'll leave that part up to you."

The girls leave no room for argument on this subject, no matter how much Harvey and Donna protest that it's really not necessary. Eventually, they have to shoo the children out of the room to get dressed for school, leaving them alone in bed, empty plates on the tray in front of them.

"I just...I can't believe they did all of this in their own," Donna shakes her head in amazement, but there's really no time to further elaborate on the subject, seeing as they're already running late.

The day passes quickly enough, with Donna insisting they go out shopping for a new dress for the night, and Harvey allowing her to drag him along. They have lunch at a little cafe a few blocks from the mall, a place they've been to a great deal the last couple of weeks, and Donna steals half his sandwich and most of his salad.

Once they pick the kids up from school it's a flurry of getting dressed and packing the girls' things for the sleepover and making sure everything is just right. Harvey's done with a good thirty minutes on Donna, who's still tucked away in the bathroom doing her makeup with Heidi perched on the side of the sink assisting her.

He makes his way into the den, catching sight of Carmen and Gia with a deck of playing cards and a bowl of popcorn on the couch. Carmen peers at him over the cards fanned out in her hands.

"Oooo," she gushes. "Someone looks all fancy."

He smirks at her, watching as Gia turns to give him a good once over herself.

"Hot date tonight, huh?" the younger girl teases.

Harvey raises his eyebrows at her, wiggling them suggestively, "Like you wouldn't believe."

Both girls giggle as he plays along, though Carmen shakes her head, "Better check yourself again. Wouldn't want to embarrass yourself."

Harvey glances down his front with a sweeping gesture, then turns back to the kids, "I don't see anything embarrassing, do you?"

Gia narrows her eyes, crooking a finger at him in a gesture for him to come closer. He approaches them behind the couch, and she sets her cards face down in front so she can position herself on her knees. She holds her hand out flat, "Glasses."

He removes them, handing them over to her, and watches as she uses her shirt to wipe the lenses. He flinches slightly when she returns them to his nose, wary of being poked in the eye. She regards him carefully, head cocked to the side. Then, she licks her hand and uses it to smooth down the hair just above his ear.

"There," she nods with finality. "_Now_, you're good."

"Why, thank you very much, m'lady," he acknowledges with a wink, which Gia returns before picking her cards back up to continue the game with her sister. Harvey shoves his hands in his pockets and observes them while he waits patiently for Donna, realizing after a moment the game they're playing is Go Fish.

"Remind me to teach you two Texas Hold 'Em before we go to Vegas," he tells them with a smirk, and they reply with twin smiles.

After a while, Donna appears from the bedroom, looking every bit as stunning in that dress he helped pick out as the day he first met her, and he finds himself being ever-so-thankful for the quarter of a century with her he's been given. The walk down the street to Allison's house is full of Donna's insistence that they be good and not hesitate to call them if there's _any trouble at all_, to which all three girls respond with sighs and fond eye rolls. They each get a kiss from both adults when they say goodbye, a gentle reminder that this is the first time they've spent a night apart since the incident and that they're still all too wounded very close to the surface. But, Harvey reminds himself, there's always a first time for everything, and it was always going to be hard, no matter when it happened. Better it be just down the street than across the country.

An hour or so later, after dinner downtown, he and Donna are crowded in the back corner of a local pub, probably more than a little tipsy, exchanging stories about Bertha and Louis's cat and that one time he showed up to a meeting with a new client completely stoned. The way she's laughing, hair falling loosely over her shoulders, makes him feel more at peace than he has in a very long time. He tucks a hand into her silky red locks, pulling her face to him and kissing her with a fervor that he forgot existed inside him. The fact that they're in public never even entering his mind, even as she's locked her hands around his neck and practically situated herself in his lap.

They stumble into an Uber a little while after, him falling against her in the back seat, hand on her thigh and head on her shoulder. The ride home is quiet, but not the kind of quiet he's become accustomed to lately. This is the kind of quiet he used to strive for. The kind of quiet where he could rest peacefully alongside his best friend, forget there was ever a time when he did anything else, and simply let her presence overwhelm him. The thought that this was something they used to do all the time briefly gives him pause. Only a couple months ago, getting drunk and lazily falling into bed together was a regular Friday night for them. He presses his lips to the skin along her jawline, just below her ear, a favorite spot of his, and takes a deep breath, inhaling that scent that is so uniquely _her_.

"Happy Anniversary," he whispers, knowing his breath is tickling her neck, and smirking against her for that very reason.

He feels rather than sees her smile as she says, "Happy Anniversary, Reginald. It wasn't Del Posto or anything, but I guess it was fun enough."

He reaches over for her left hand, sliding his own fingers through hers so that metal comes in contact with metal, the soft clink making him grin. And that's when he finally realizes it. He's happy. Not just in a temporary sense. He's really, really _happy_. Even though these last couple of months have been the hardest of his life, this feeling he gets when he looks at her, thinks about their life together and what she means to him, it's bigger than all that. They'll learn to be them again. Eventually. Whatever it takes.

Coming home to an empty house is strange enough, but he tries to move past the weird sensation he feels being separated from the girls by focusing on the fact that he has Donna all to himself until the morning. She kisses him against the front door, a move that reminds him of the first time, all those years ago. When they reach their room, it's his turn to kiss her, which he does delicately, drawing her into his arms and pouring the entirety of his soul into a kiss he wishes would just last and last and last. The rest follows afterward: the clumsy removal of clothing, him tossing her onto the bed while she laughs softly, movements and touches and kisses as gentle and slow as they've ever been. And after, when it's over, and they're softly slipping into sleep, he wraps her in his arms, holds on tight, places his lips right against the skin just below her ear, and reminds her she's the love of his life as if she didn't already know. They spend the entirety of the night like that, all wrapped up and tangled and uncharacteristically still, as though even in sleep they're afraid of letting go.

"_Just close your eyes_

_The sun is going down_

_You'll be alright_

_No one can hurt you now_

_Come morning light_

_You and I'll be safe and sound"_

As soon as school is out, they hit the road.

In San Francisco they pay a visit to the house from _Full House_, take a boat tour under the Golden Gate Bridge, and eat fish from a little hole in wall place right on the bay. After dinner, they make their way to a little downtown area via a trolley (per Heidi's insistence) where there's a stage with a patio and fairy lights adding to the beginnings of dusk. A young man and woman are entertaining a small crowd with soft acoustic songs that he vaguely remembers from his thirties. They stand for a while and watch in silence before Harvey instinctively reaches out and pulls Donna into his arms, twirling her around to the sound of Dan + Shay's "Tequila" while she giggles softly in a way that reminds him of strawberries and whipped cream and twenty-five years ago. A few moments later he glances over to see all three girls dancing together, taking turns dipping and spinning one another, laughing at their failed attempts to look graceful.

In Las Vegas, he plays poker at Caesars Palace, and the girls watch Donna try her luck at the slot machines, running back and forth with handfuls of quarters and buckets. They take an infinite number of pictures in places he swears look no different than Times Square, but he indulges them nonetheless. They see a Cirque du Soleil performance that has Carmen in complete awe and convinced she has what it takes to be a professional acrobat. Gia complains that Harvey's insistence to teach them Texas Hold 'Em is irrelevant if they aren't even old enough to gamble, and Harvey tugs on her ponytail, copying her mockingly in a way that makes her roll her eyes. Heidi insists on giving a tip to three different street magicians, one of whom almost gives Harvey a panic attack when he makes his watch disappear for at least thirty seconds. They eat dinner at Top of the World, and Heidi spends the majority of the meal complaining about the fact that they have Pepsi products instead of Coca-Cola.

There's a mix-up with the Air B&B they booked in Jackson. It's a small two bedroom cabin instead of the larger five bedroom place they thought they'd gotten. Harvey's sure it's someone else's fault because certainly, Donna wouldn't have messed up this much, and he's got half a mind to call and yell at _someone_, but Donna talks him off the ledge. She tells him Carmen and Gia can bunk up, and Heidi will sleep with them and everything will be fine. Though he's still unconvinced, he lets it go. They spend the day running around Yellowstone, watching geysers and hiking back trails where Gia _swears_ she catches sight of a bear. It's particularly hot out, so they're very well shot long before the sun begins its descent and make it back to the house around dinner time. They order two pizzas and decide to watch a movie. After devouring their meal, they all pile into the master bedroom, squished together even in the king sized bed, and following much argument, end up deciding on the live action version of_ The Lion King._ It's only 10:00 by the time the movie ends, but Harvey and Gia are the only ones still awake. Donna is passed out between Carmen (whose arm is dangling over the end of the bed) and Heidi (curled right under the older woman's chin). Harvey shakes his head at the three, and Gia laughs in return. They switch the TV to _Friends_ reruns and finally fall asleep around half past midnight.

They spend a whole week exploring various desert attractions in Arizona. Harvey teases Donna about her hair being the same color as the sand, and she sticks her tongue out at him. Every time they pass a cactus, Donna asks Harvey if he wants to take it home, and he rolls his eyes at her. Gia spends over three-quarters of their time trying to find an iguana just because she did a project on them in second grade and has had some weird obsession with them ever since. She almost falls into a hole chasing one on Wednesday, and Harvey is pretty sure he's never come closer to having a heart attack in his life. Carmen screams once because she thinks she spots a rattlesnake in the distance, though it turns out to just be a weirdly shaped log. At night, the sky is the clearest any of them have ever seen, so they spend an hour or so just laying on the ground, telling stories while they gaze up at the stars.

They do end up paying a visit to Mount Rushmore for Carmen's sake, but Donna makes sure to fill in her in on all the reasons why it isn't as great as people make it out to be, and the true reason for its existence, while the girls stare on in amazement. The Grand Canyon is a pretty big hit, but Heidi has a good bit of anxiety climbing around the top and looking down at how far she could possibly fall at any given moment. They visit an old mining town somewhere that Harvey doesn't really bother to remember the name of, and Gia makes them look up ghost stories to tell which has Carmen wide-eyed and afraid to move for a good while. Salt Lake City is a bit of a letdown, so they end up leaving sooner than they'd planned and making a pit stop on the way to their next destination at a flea market that occupies Donna and Gia for over seven hours. No matter the city or landmark, they take as many pictures as possible and spend most of their time traveling flipping through them and listening to every genre of music available.

"_Maps stretched out_

_Too many miles to count_

_Let's just say we're inches apart_

_Even closer at heart_

_And we'll be just fine"_

In Denver, their little cottage has a skylight. He doesn't remember much of what they do during the day, but he does remember the night. He lays next to Heidi in the little alcove she's chosen for her bed, staring straight through the glass ceiling at the constellations above. Her bare feet are stretched upwards and pressed against the wall, floral patterned Long John PJ's scrunched up mid-calf, hair splayed across her pillow mindlessly. He's laying with his legs crossed, one hand folded behind his head, allowing her to guide the other as she points out the names of different stars.

"And that one's the Big Dipper, right there," she says. "See it, Harvey? It's my favorite 'cause to us, it's upside down, but it doesn't know any different. It doesn't even know it's supposed to be right-side up. It just lives all day like that, upside down, not knowin' any better. I wish I could do that."

He stares at her for a moment, "How do you know so much about the stars?"

Heidi purses her lips, pulling into herself a little before she whispers, without taking her eyes off the night sky, "Dad taught me."

Carmen comes around the corner, leaning against the edge of the wall to join them.

"We had that big bay window in our family room, and one year Dad bought Mom a telescope for Christmas," she tells them.

"I remember," says Harvey.

"Well, we used to open up the window on clear nights and look at the stars together," Carmen continues. "Dad didn't know anything about them, so he'd make up names, and we started trying to see who could come up with the funniest constellations."

Harvey allows himself a fond smile at the thought of that. Sounds just like Mike.

"But then Heidi got older, and she started getting really into it, wanting to know all the real names and stuff. So the year she turned five, Dad spent hours the night before reading books and maps trying to memorize it all so he could give her a full show. But, turns out photographic memory isn't much of a help when it comes to translating 2D constellation maps to a three-dimensional sky."

Harvey really laughs then. _That_ sounds just like Mike.

"Gosh, it was the _worst_," Carmen complains. "He couldn't get anything right. Mom finally had to be like, 'Mike, stop, this is obviously not working.' It was tragic."

"But he got the Big Dipper," Heidi interjects in her father's defense, still staring at the sky as though her sister hadn't even appeared at all.

"Yeah, that's about all he got," Carmen rolls her eyes with a smile. "And then Mom took us to the planetarium that weekend instead."

They spend a long while after that letting Carmen point out the fake constellations she remembers from years ago. Donna snaps a picture of them like that, all huddled together and posts it on any number of social media platforms that he can't be bothered to keep up with, but he finds himself staring at the photo regularly.

Heidi wakes up from a nightmare in the middle of the night, tears streaming down her face, something about her parents being the only thing they can drag out of her. Donna pulls the covers back, motioning for her to slide into bed between them. Once Heidi's all tucked in and snuggled safely against Harvey's chest, Donna brushes the tears from her face, rubs her cheeks softly, and starts to sing. It's not something he's ever heard before, so he listens carefully to the sound of her voice, feeling it lull him back into the state of semi-placidness that he's begun to accept as normal. Heidi's breathing slows and deepens before Donna's even done with the song, but she finishes anyway, placing a kiss to the child's forehead with a soft whisper of, "I love you, kiddo." She exchanges a glance with Harvey for a moment—a sad sort of gaze that's all too common these days—and tells him the song is from _Waitress_. Throwing an arm over Heidi's sleeping form, and finding his hand to link their fingers together, she slides back down onto the pillow, leaving him to find sleep once more.

"_If you must weep,_

_Do it right here in my bed as I sleep_

_If you must mourn, my love_

_Mourn with the moon and the stars up above_

_If you must mourn,_

_Don't do it alone"_

It rains practically the whole time they're in Portland. It's not surprising, really, but it doesn't leave much room for exploration. They go to Target and spend a ridiculous amount of money on board games. Harvey's never really been sure whether he likes the rain or not, but it feels cozy, he thinks, listening to the soft patter of raindrops against the windows of their cottage house while they play Clue and eat Oreos dipped in peanut butter. They spend two days in a row exhausting all the board games they have, playing various card games (Harvey finally teaches the girls Texas Hold 'Em), and eating unhealthy amounts of junk food.

On the third day, Harvey wakes up to an empty bed, which is odd for him because he's always the first awake. He looks around for a moment, trying to catch any trace of discarded pajamas or other evidence that Donna might have left of her disappearance, but there is none. Just as he's contemplating getting to up to go in search of her, the door creaks open, and in she walks.

"Morning, sunshine," she smiles, padding across to him with two cups of coffee in her hand.

"Morning," he smiles back and props himself up against the headboard. "You're bringing me coffee?"

"Looks like it."

She hands him a cup and leans in to give him a kiss, both of which he accepts enthusiastically.

"Not to sound ungrateful," he says after taking a sip, "but what exactly is this about?"

"What?" she asks, feigning innocence. "I can't just bring you coffee because I love you?"

"You can. But you don't."

"I don't _often_," she corrects, sitting on the edge of the bed and placing her free hand on his leg, "but I just thought it would be nice."

"It was nice. Very much appreciated. But unprecedented."

"If you must know," she sighs dramatically, "I remembered it was a special day, and I wanted to give you a treat."

"Special day?" he asks with eyebrows raised as he takes another sip.

"Father's Day."

He almost chokes on his coffee right then and there. She offers nothing else on the matter, and he's content to let it go, well aware that neither of them is ready to discuss what she was referring to in great detail. They easily slip into a natural rapport that he knows and loves so well as they wait for the inevitable presence of one of the girls (most likely the middle child) to join them and demand their attention. However, this doesn't come as soon as they expect, and he takes advantage of this unusual privacy to kiss her again. This time, though, it isn't over with a quick little peck. This one deepens and deepens until he's got her sitting in his lap, hand slowly inching her nightgown up instinctively.

"Harvey," she warns halfheartedly, knocking his hand away.

"What?" he groans, lips working their way down her jawline.

"They're going to wake up any second now," she reminds him, and he huffs in defeat because he knows she's right.

He relents with a slight pout, but refuses to back off entirely, "Doesn't mean we can't at least have a little fun."

"Like what?" she asks, obviously interested.

"Like _this_."

He attacks her sides, tickling her until she falls backward with a shriek. And that, of course, was his mistake. Because as soon as she gets the opportunity, she's tickling him right back and they're both breathless and crying with laughter. While he's still trying to catch his breath, Donna grabs her pillow and wacks his chest with it before jumping off of the bed and bolting towards the door.

"Alright," says Harvey, still a little winded, "that's it, woman."

He rips the covers off of himself and swings his legs onto the floor, running in Donna's direction. With a screech, she takes off out of the room and launches herself down the small set of stairs. He's much faster than her, and catches up quickly, grabbing her around the waist and tossing her onto the sofa. He climbs on top of her, straddling her hips and pinning her arms above her head.

"Gotcha," he wiggles his eyebrows at her.

Just then he feels a heavy weight land on his back, causing him to slump forward.

"Not so fast!" he hears Heidi growl in his ear, arms wrapping around his neck and yanking backward until he's forced to let go of his hold on Donna.

She uses his momentary distraction to wriggle out from underneath him and hop off of the couch. She yanks one of the pillows off the couch and hits him instantly, after which he hears a shrill, "Pillow fight!" in Gia's voice from somewhere in the distance. Within seconds all five of them have acquired pillows in various shapes and sizes, and it's every man for himself. It doesn't take very long for the pillow fight to lose the pillows altogether, and then the kids are being tossed onto the sofa and onto each other, and Donna's the only one left for him to tackle.

She looks him in the eye, expression wild and hair all tangled and full of static.

"You don't win if you can't catch me," she shouts and then takes off through the kitchen and out the sliding door onto the back deck.

He runs after her, gaining on her when she turns to see if he's nearby. It's then that he realizes he's still dressed only in his boxers, but he follows anyways, catching her wrist just as she reaches the end of the deck. He tugs her back towards him, and she allows herself to fall into his chest.

"Caught you," he smirks, wrapping his other arm around her waist, yanking her flush against him.

"Only because I _let_ you," she glares at him but throws her arm around his neck.

"Oh, yeah?" he challenges.

"Yeah," she smirks back. "Just got tired of running, I guess."

There's more to her words than meets the eye, and he knows because she's _Donna_ and he's _Harvey_, and well, isn't it always more than that with them? He feels his smirk turning into a genuine smile as they stare at each other for a few seconds longer, and he just has to kiss her then. Outside, in his boxers, in front of all three children, standing in the pouring rain.

He's surprised when, not only does she allow him to deepen the kiss, but returns the gesture with equal fervor until they're both gasping for breath.

"Ew, _gross_!" one of the girls shouts from the kitchen.

They both turn to see all three girls staring at them, door still wide open. Carmen is shaking her head with mild amusement, Gia looks like she could melt, and Heidi seems to be trying very hard not to gag.

"Come join us!" Harvey calls, waving them over.

"But it's raining," Carmen shouts back.

Harvey shrugs, "So?"

Carmen and Gia exchange a look and also shrug as if to say, "Why not?" before all three girls come charging out onto the deck.

Harvey finally decides then and there that he loves the rain.

"_Take my mind_

_And take my pain_

_Like an empty bottle takes the rain_

_And heal, heal, heal, heal"_

There's not much to see in Montana, they decide. They end up at this place called Glacier National Park, which is admittedly very scenic and picturesque, but they aren't very well acquainted with this hiking thing. They get a map of the park from the information desk, which Heidi immediately puts herself in charge of, snatching it from Carmen's hand to look it over for a moment. After giving it a good look, she shoves it into her pocket.

"We're going to need that later, you know," Gia tells her.

"Maybe," Heidi shrugs. "But I can remember."

And she does. She directs their entire trip from the entrance to the cliffs overlooking the water without even another glance at the map.

"She's so much like him," Harvey feels himself murmuring before he can think to stop it.

"Yeah," says a voice to his left. He hadn't thought anyone heard him, but he sees Carmen staring at him intensely. "But she also kind of isn't."

Harvey cocks his head to the side slightly, "What do you mean?"

Carmen shrugs, looking down at her shoes.

"She sees things differently," is all she says in response, but before Harvey can question her further, Heidi is at his side, tugging on his hand.

"Let's go swimming," she begs.

"Swimming?" Harvey chuckles. "We aren't exactly in bathing suits, pal."

"Puh-leez," she whines. "It's hot out here, and our clothes will dry off."

He turns to Donna, hoping for some solidarity, but she's clearly enjoying this, raising an eyebrow at him.

"What?" she asks, voice teasing. "You scared to jump, Specter?"

He rolls his eyes, "No."

"Then why don't you?" she goads him.

"Why don't _you_?"

"I asked you first."

He narrows his eyes at her, then slips his arm quickly out of Heidi's grasp, moving towards Donna smoothly and with purpose.

"Why don't we both go in together?" he offers, and just as he sees the recognition flash in her eyes, he swoops her up into his arms and tosses her over his shoulder.

"Harvey!" she shouts. "Put me down right now!"

"You want down?" he smirks. "You got it, Paulsen."

Her scream is the last thing he hears before he launches himself off of the cliff and down into the water. He loses his grip on her as soon as they hit the surface, but they pop up struggling for breath only a few inches apart. He can feel the smirk taking over his face when he sees her, hair clinging to her face.

"I cannot _believe_ you," she shouts, splashing him.

He splashes her back before reaching under the water to hook his hand around her waist and pull her to him. He's considering leaning in for a kiss when he hears an excited whoop from above him, and soon Gia is falling through the air and landing with a giant splash beside him. She pops up giggling and swims towards them.

"That was so much fun!" she gushes, then tilts her head upwards and yells, "Carmen, come on, it's easy."

Carmen appears very hesitant, but Harvey watches as Heidi takes her hand and yanks her towards the edge of the cliff. He observes what appears to be a struggle between the two that Heidi inevitably wins. The two girls take the leap together, hands linked until the second they bob above the surface. Unfortunately, Heidi isn't very good at treading water and spends most of their time in the water with her arms hooked around Harvey's neck as he keeps them both afloat. They only last a little while longer before Gia insists they get back to exploring and leads them to the edge of the lake.

They sit for a while, dumping water out of their shoes, and wringing out their shirts as best they can. Harvey has to admit, he feels much better with the sun drying his chest than he did when it was beating down on him dry. After they decide they've done as much as they can do, they head off back to the trail with Heidi's assistance and begin their ascent back to the top of the cliffs. After a couple of minutes, Heidi pauses, "Look at the baby bird!"

They all move forward to observe where she's pointing, and Gia kneels down to get a closer look.

"It's strange he isn't scared of us," Donna ponders. "I'm surprised he hasn't flown away."

"Aw," Gia whines, turning to Donna with a pout. "His wing is broken, look."

Donna takes a step closer, "Poor thing. He's not going to last long out here like this."

"You mean he's gonna _die_?" Gia cries, suddenly very upset.

"Everything that's alive dies," Heidi interjects, picking a leaf off of a bush and tossing it onto the ground.

"Heidi!" says Gia angrily. "Don't say that."

"What?" her little sister asks, genuinely confused. "It's true. Being able to die is what makes you alive."

Gia pulls a face but turns back to the baby bird and Donna, "What should we do?"

"Maybe we can find some berries to bring to him," Donna suggests. "That way he can at least have a meal without having to drag himself across the trail like that."

"Okay!" Gia jumps up, excitement taking over previous worry. "Heidi, come on."

The little girl takes her sister's hand and they head off down the trail in search of food, Donna moving to follow them.

"Told ya," comes Carmen's voice from his right.

He turns, watching her as she moves to stand beside him.

"Told me what?" he wonders.

"That she sees things differently," she tells him.

"_Even though you are drowning in valleys of echoes_

_I believe there is peace in those hills up ahead_

_You will climb 'til you find places you'll never let go_

_And I will also be here praying just like I said"_

In Los Angeles, Heidi finally gets her Disney trip. They take cliche family pictures in front of Sleeping Beauty's castle, eat ice cream bars shaped like Mickey heads, and ride It's a Small World three times in a row. Gia begs to have her picture taken with Ariel, even though the line is way too long. The girls insist on riding some rollercoaster Harvey thinks will probably make him puke, so they let them off to stand in line on their own while they spend at least an hour just people watching and chatting. At lunch time, Donna ducks into a little store selling those basic black caps with Mickey ears. She buys one for all of them and drags a couple more photos out of it. They're sitting on the grass, waiting for the fireworks show to start, sharing two bags of popcorn between the five of them around 9:00 when someone accidentally trips beside him and knocks a whole cup of coffee onto his jeans. For a quick second he considers hopping up to tell the man off, but one look at Donna's face—tight and struggling to hold in her laughter—and he really can't be bothered. Pretty soon they're all making fun of him, snickering and giggling enthusiastically, and he's forgotten all about the random guy.

They spend an entire day locating every possible star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame that Harvey can even imagine and then some. He takes a picture of Tom Cruise's star just to send to Alex for bragging purposes, but most of the novelty is lost on him. Donna, on the other hand, is completely entranced by about eighty percent of the names they pass, stopping to reenact Allison Janney's 2018 Oscar speech and tell them all the story of when she first saw _Sophie's Choice_, and Meryl Streep inspired her to be an actress. Heidi gives a little squeal when they pass Mickey and Minnie, Gia requests basically every attractive female actress she's ever heard of, and Carmen stands in awe of the Lin-Manuel Miranda star for a full five minutes without saying a word.

He isn't really sure why Donna insists on seeing Stevie Wonder's star. She's never claimed to be a huge fan of his, but his name had been mentioned in passing, and she'd been shocked to learn the girls had no idea who he was, so they just had to go find his star for her to explain it to them. He rolls his eyes fondly at her enthusiasm but finds himself drawn to Stevie's neighbor out of curiosity. The second he sees it, he wishes he hadn't.

He's unable to look up from the pink star, outlined in gold, containing a little icon of an old movie camera. Above the icon, in gold letters reads the name, Paul Newman.

"_Yeah, baby! Butch and Sundance are back."_

"_Oh, no go."_

"_What do...what do...what do you mean 'no go'?"_

"_I mean you're not Butch or Sundance."_

"_Why not?"_

"'_Cause Butch was the leader, and Sundance was the gunslinger, and I'm both."_

"_Okay, but Sundance couldn't swim, and Butch never shot anyone, so that makes you a loser."_

"_Better than a fraud."_

"_I think it's time for some new material."_

"_You write Midnight Train to Georgia, you don't just sing it once."_

The memory hits him in a flash, and then it's on repeat in his head, rolling and rolling over and over. He's getting a headache. His throat feels a little tight. And, maybe he's got something on his glasses, but he definitely can't see as clearly as he could a moment before. He clutches his hand in a fist, then releases. _Fist, release. Fist, release. Fist—_

"Hey," Donna's hand is on his shoulder, "we're gonna go find somewhere to eat lunch."

He hears the words come out of her mouth, feels himself nod instinctually, but he hasn't really processed the meaning. She's looking at him funny.

"What's wrong?" she asks, hand squeezing comfortingly.

"I just...I um…" he can't finish the sentence, so he points in the general direction of the star and then wipes his hand across his face to catch the sweat.

Donna knows as soon as she sees the name too because she's Donna. He can tell by the look on her face when she turns back to him.

"Hey," she tells him, using her fingers to tip his chin and force him to look her right in the eyes, "I know. Sometimes it hits you more than others, and that's okay."

"It doesn't feel okay," he laughs bitterly.

"No," she agrees, taking his hand and lacing their fingers together, "it doesn't. But it's normal, and it's something we learn to live with."

He nods, squeezing her hand tightly, "Let's get some lunch."

"Okay."

"_And you held us in your city lights_

_When our eyes had lost the stars_

_And we made our peace with lonely nights_

_And you healed our broken hearts"_

They're home with two weeks to spare. Still living in the penthouse, for the time being, Harvey decides it's time he and Donna make a decision about work. It's a surprisingly short discussion. Despite all the reasons why they shouldn't, they agree that it's for the best.

They hand in their two week's notice the next morning.

It's easier, he thinks, because he's got the perfect idea for who should take his place. When he calls her up, it's all awkward chit chat and trying for light small talk that really never comes because they're very well past that now, but by the time he hangs up the phone, he knows he made a good choice.

Since they still have to work, the girls end up spending a lot their free time at the firm. Gia bonds with Katrina immediately on all things fashion and beauty. Harvey rolls his eyes when he walks by her office one day and finds them both comparing eyeshadow palettes. Carmen sort of floats around, giving Donna advice on executive matters and being Harvey's errand girl. Heidi, not so surprisingly, immediately hits it off with the firm's newest partner.

From the second Heidi Ross and Dana Scott first lay eyes on each other, he knows he's in for a load of trouble. Donna finds it incredibly sweet, the way Heidi attaches herself to Scottie's side and practically worships the ground she walks on. Harvey cannot bring himself to agree, mind full of all the scheming and plotting they're up to in her office for hours on end.

Of course, it never really occurred to him at first _why_ Heidi was so drawn to Scottie. The more he thinks about it the more it begins to make perfect sense. Donna has always said Scottie is the female version of himself, and he and Heidi have always been the best of friends. Having someone with his personality who wears dresses and knows how to braid her hair? Heidi is right in her element here.

He's finishing up for the afternoon early into their second week, stopping to grab Heidi from Scottie's office on the way back to his own to get his phone, when he catches them right in the act. They're dancing, to some song he's heard before but couldn't even begin to name, outlined beautifully by the golden sun rays coming in through the windows behind them. He can barely make out more than their silhouettes, but he can see enough to know Heidi is barefoot and standing on Scottie's desk while the older woman is standing on the floor facing her. Their hands are linked as they sway back and forth purposefully, breaking contact only to take turns spinning each other. Too immersed in their own amusement, Harvey's presence goes entirely unnoticed, so he takes advantage of the moment just to watch them.

For the briefest second, he allows himself to wonder if, in some other life, this might have been his reality. In another lifetime, one where Donna and Mike never existed, he might have ended up with Scottie after all, perhaps long enough ago for them to have a couple of children of their own around Heidi's age. Any product of the two of them is certain to be very much like her, that's for sure. He imagines late nights at the office, dancing with them to the endless stack of records on his shelves, letting them change out the albums with soft reluctance and a lot of complaining. No drama. No heartache. No sense of wasted time and a lifetime of regrets.

But that vision passes quickly. So quickly, in fact, that he can easily pretend he had never had it at all. Despite the years of pain and the endless torment he's had to endure to be here, in this very moment, he knows he'd never trade it. This life right now is the one that he gets, and he's blessed every single day to live it.

He leaves Heidi where she is, for the time being, treading the familiar path to Donna's office. He finds her buried in her work, abnormally alone, for which he is thankful. Her head pops up at the sound of his footsteps, something she only ever does when she senses his presence over anyone else's, making him smile.

"I know, I know," she huffs. "Time to go. I just have to finish up this—"

Whatever she has to finish, he never does find out. He cuts her off with a swift movement that has her in his arms, and her lips pressed against his in a long, very sweet, very much needed kiss.

When he finally pulls back to take a breath, he allows his forehead to fall against hers, letting out a heavy breath while she stares at him, visibly confused.

"You gonna tell me what that was about?" she asks with an eyebrow raised.

He brings a hand up to let his thumb trace her cheek, "It was a thank you."

"Thank you? For what?"

"For twenty-five years."

She narrows her eyes for a moment, almost as if trying to tell him they've _done_ this already, but he knows. And she knows he knows, so when he says nothing else for a while, just stares at her, she eventually gives in to the smile pulling at her lips and presses another, much shorter kiss to his mouth before whispering, "Right back atcha, babe."

"_There's no wrong side to get up on_

_No ghosts keeping me awake_

_Honey this love's gonna makeup_

_For all the beds I've made"_

The weekend before school starts, they go to the house.

He's done a pretty good job hiding it from all of them, even Donna, though she knows he's been looking, just not exactly what he's been looking at. The whole drive out to the Hamptons takes about two and a half hours, and they spend every second of it listening to every Taylor Swift song ever written on shuffle. There's a part of him that hates it intensely, but most of him is just incredibly content to soak up every last bit of this summer freedom before they're thrown back into the chaos of the school year. The girls have no idea where they're going, so their confusion at entering a neighborhood right on the beach is entirely expected.

"This is the surprise?" Gia asks, a bit disappointed when they pull into the driveway.

Donna, on the other hand, sucks in a deep breath, knowing full well what this means, and obviously shocked at his ability to find such a perfect place. It's pretty modern for a beach house. The front and back walls are made almost entirely of glass so that if you look in just the right spot, you can see straight through to the other side. It's two stories with a porch that wraps around the second floor. The roof is flat, steel-colored, and covered in solar panels which he specifically requested be added despite the cost. The exterior would be completely symmetrical if it weren't for the tip of the chimney that extends from the left side of the roof.

Harvey turns around in his seat once the car is in park so that he can address the children directly, "This is the surprise."

"It's a house," says Gia unnecessarily.

Harvey can't help but chuckle at her bluntness, "It is."

"Why are we at a house?" Carmen asks, less disappointed than her sister but genuinely confused.

"I brought you to see it," Harvey drawls slowly, "because it's going to be your home."

All three girls stare back at him in shock.

"Our home?" Gia repeats. "You mean this is our house?"

"That's what I mean."

Gia's jaw drops, "Can we go inside?"

"Of course," says Donna, already unbuckling her seatbelt. "You didn't think we drove all the way out here just to look at it, did you?"

Carmen and Gia exchange a wide eyed look before bolting out of the car and up onto the porch.

"C'mon, pal," Harvey says to Heidi, helping her out of the car as Donna follows behind the older girls. Heidi takes his hand and tugs him along after her sisters, squealing when they reach the front door. As soon as they're all inside, the girls take off in every direction. He lets them run wild while he guides Donna gently from room to room, giving her the proper tour.

The first floor of the house consists of a kitchen, dining room, living room, study, and the master bedroom with a bathroom attached. The living and kitchen area, at the center, are bathed almost entirely in natural light. The setup mimics the penthouse in that the kitchen opens straight into the living area which is situated around the fireplace. But unlike his penthouse, this living room holds a grand piano—white to keep with the aesthetic of the place. He isn't surprised when Donna rushes straight to it, sitting on the bench and running her hands over the keys delicately.

"Harvey," she breathes, "this is…I mean extravagant is one thing, but this is…"

For once, she's speechless, something only he's ever been able to do to her, and it warms his heart in all the right places. He slides in beside her.

"My gift to you," he says, "for twenty-five years."

When she looks back up at him, her eyes are clouded and full to the brim with tears, but she's smiling so hard he couldn't possibly keep himself from kissing her.

"Play something," he tells her after pulling away.

"I don't...it's been years, Harvey," she protests.

"Whatever you can remember," he insists. "It doesn't matter."

With slight hesitation, she begins to move her hands against the keys, fumbling a bit so that he can't exactly make out what it is at first, but suddenly she seems to get the hang of it, and he recognizes Pachelbel's Canon. He's mesmerized by her fingers, gliding effortlessly as she plays a song she must've performed so many times as a child. He rests his chin on her shoulder, smiling when she accidentally misses a note to glance over at him. The sound is soft and happy and he has this amazing view of the ocean just in front of them, and everything just seems so perfect for once. He has visions of years in the future, listening to her play while Carmen dances and Gia sings, Heidi perched on his lap or next to him on the couch. If he wasn't already entirely certain, he'd know for sure now. This is their home.

When Donna hits the last note, there's a brief silence, and then clapping and cheering emerges from the staircase. They both whip their heads around to see the girls watching them from the balcony, smiles wide.

"How'd you learn that?" Heidi asks, launching herself downstairs and into Donna's arms in a matter of twenty seconds.

"Lots of practice when I was your age," Donna informs her while running a hand through her hair.

"Can you teach me?"

"Of course," says Donna.

"Me and Carmen wanna see the beach," Gia announces, trailing down the stairs with her sister just behind her.

"Me too!" Heidi squeals, and they all three rush out the door.

Harvey gives Donna a brief synopsis of the upstairs rooms (three bedrooms, a game room, and two bathrooms) as they follow along behind. They link their hands and swing their arms as they move down the stairs that lead to the sand. By the time they reach the beach, Gia and Carmen are already missing their shoes and twirling around in the surf. Heidi is hanging back, watching them intensely when they approach. She turns around and gazes at them for a moment.

"We really get to live here?" she asks, eyes staring up at him in pure wonder.

Harvey nods, taking her hand, "Very soon."

"_There is a house built out of stone_

_Wooden floors, walls and window sills_

_Tables and chairs worn by all of the dust_

_This is a place where I don't feel alone_

_This is a place where I feel at home"_

The first day of school goes about as well as expected.

They wait in line for Heidi first, who can't be missed with her wild pigtails and bright red sneakers. When she hops in the back seat, she drops her bag tiredly in front of her feet and sighs as she leans against the window.

"How'd it go, pal?" Harvey asks, trying to stay cheerful.

"It was fine," she shrugs. They're pulling away now, heading to get in the middle schooler line for the older girls. Heidi stares out the window, watching children greeting parents excitedly and shedding blazers and cardigans in the heat. Then, "Harvey?"

"Yeah?"

"We had to do these worksheets today where we say stuff about ourselves, and the teacher made us say them out loud and…" here, she trails with a slight pout. "And it asked me about my Mom and Dad. But I said Harvey and Donna, and this boy asked me why I call my parents Harvey and Donna instead of Mom and Dad."

She stops there, looking at them in the front seat as they exchange a look.

"What did you tell him?" Donna asks curiously.

"I told 'em that...that you guys aren't my _real_ parents, but then he asked where my real parents were, and I just...I didn't wanna tell him that."

Harvey swallows. They're approaching Carmen and Gia now, he can see them coming into view just a little down the sidewalk, but he wants to clear something up before they're most likely bombarded with a play by play of Gia's entire day.

"I know talking about your Mom and Dad makes you sad," he tells Heidi, with a glance back at her to make sure she's listening carefully, "but you don't ever have to be ashamed of the fact that you don't have a Mom and Dad. There's nothing wrong with you because of that. Me and Donna, we aren't trying to replace them, but...we're your parents just as much as anything, okay?"

"Okay," Heidi nods. "Should I...start calling you Mom and Dad?"

Harvey shrugs, "If you want to."

Heidi looks as though she needs a moment to process this before she shakes her head, "I don't want to."

Before they can pursue the subject any further, Gia is throwing open the door, filing in with Carmen behind her, already fully invested in telling them every single detail of her day from start to finish.

The rest of the car ride back into the city is full of endless chatter and laughter, Carmen rolling her eyes at Gia's endless list of new friends, Donna laughing when Heidi complains about the cafeteria food, Harvey trying to keep his eyes on the road but continuously getting distracted by the enthusiastic storytelling going on in the seats behind him.

"_Comfort the girl_

_Help her understand_

_No memory_

_No matter how sad_

_And no violence _

_No matter how bad_

_Can darken the heart_

_Or tear it apart"_

The information about the accident finds its way into his hands in mid-September. He spends hours looking over documents and wrestling with the internal struggle of what exactly to do. He could work this case, could win it certainly, but at what cost?

When he gets home that night, after a long day working through the decision at the office with Scottie and Louis, Donna and Carmen are the only ones still awake. Carmen's got a protractor and a calculator, seated at the table, obviously finishing up some of her geometry homework, so she doesn't even notice his entrance. Not wanting to disrupt her, he makes his way into the living room to find his wife seated on the sofa, flipping through a magazine.

"Honey, I'm home," he announces dramatically to capture her attention; however, she makes no effort to even so much as look in his direction.

"Took you long enough," she says into the magazine, turning the page.

"Yes," he agrees, removing his jacket and loosening his tie before leaning over to place a kiss on the top of her head and flopping down beside her. He pats her thigh casually before sliding his hand down to rest on her knee. "And I think I need to tell you why."

This finally grasps her attention. She lays the magazine face down on the coffee table and turns to him, eyes searching his to prepare herself for the direction this conversation is taking. He lays out all the facts first, what he knows and then what he needs to know. He assures her he has the ability to win this, and because she trusts him, she doesn't refute that claim. She knows he can too, even with the little bit of information she's been given in the last few moments. It's not until he comes to the end that she lets her wariness show.

"What are you going to do?" she asks, already knowing that his answer will be inconclusive. He doesn't comment on the redundancy of that, actually doesn't comment at all, because at that second, Carmen appears.

"Do about what?" she asks, voice soft, evidence of her exhaustion at the tail end of a similarly hard day.

Without looking to Donna to confirm what he already knows she's thinking, he responds honestly, "Your parents' accident. I got some information today, and I'm trying to figure out if I should fight it."

Carmen's face is expressionless, "You mean...you can get her back? The woman who did this to them?"

"I can," Harvey tells her sincerely. "It's going to be a long process, with a lot of hearings and witnesses and all kinds of things, but I can do it. I'm just trying to decide whether or not I should."

"Why wouldn't you?"

Here, Harvey finally looks to Donna for help. She turns to the girl with a sigh, "Because it's going to bring up a lot of bad memories and bad feelings that just might not be worth it."

"Oh," says Carmen, biting her lip. She ponders this for a long moment, "You have to decide what to do soon?"

"As soon as possible," Harvey nods.

"I don't want to sound selfish, but…" she trails off, eyes falling to the floor. "Would you do it if I asked you to?"

Harvey can't help but smile, "For you? Try and stop me."

Donna chuckles softly at the sentiment, but he can tell when her smile doesn't quite reach her eyes.

"If it ever gets to be too much, you can quit," Carmen assures him. "I wouldn't ask you to do it if it hurt you."

"I know," he assures her. "I can handle it. But just so you know, if it ever becomes too much for you, say the word, and I'll let it go, got it?"

"Got it," she nods and heads off to bed shortly thereafter.

The month passes with little progress. It's nearing the end of October, and every day he has to come home and give Carmen the same report. _Nothing much yet, but we're still working_. He gets into an argument with Donna over something stupid that night, and leaves the dinner table before they're even through, isolating himself instead of confronting the fact that it isn't anything to do with _her_ that's bothering him, which she very well knows, and he's determined to leave her to get over it on her own. He spends the rest of the night avoiding everyone, barely even looking up to tell Heidi good night when she seeks him out for that sole purpose. Rationally, he knows he's being unfair to them, but today has been a particularly grueling day, and he's having trouble focusing, but he's so close to getting exactly what he needs, and he can't very well just take a break and breathe right now, so he goes back to work.

He's in their home office, poring over stacks of documents, about a quarter past midnight when he hears the soft footsteps approaching him. He lifts his head the slightest, enough to locate her face, before returning his attention to his work.

"What's up, kiddo?" he asks, eyes still trained downwards.

Carmen shuffles a bit closer to him but doesn't say anything. Too engrossed in whatever he's reading, it takes him an awkwardly long amount of time to realize she hasn't responded. When he looks up, he catches the expression on her face. She's got something important to say, and she's struggling with it. So he removes his glasses, placing them softly on his desk and motioning for her to come around next to him. She does so slowly, hands fiddling nervously.

"Whatcha got?" he asks again, trying to keep the mood light.

She keeps her eyes on her hands and mumbles, "I want you to stop."

He's confused for a second.

"What?"

She takes a deep breath, then focuses her gaze directly on him.

"I want you to stop fighting," she repeats, but this time, her voice is firm and leaves no room for confusion. "You told me you would if I asked, and I'm saying I want you to stop."

_I want you to stop fighting._

He swallows, feeling his heart constricting inside him. His lips twitch slightly before he purses them together, looking into her eyes in order to be certain she's sincere. What he finds looks a lot like resignation. It looks a lot like giving up. But it's as sincere as he's possibly ever seen her.

He feels himself nod without much thought.

"Okay," he promises her. "I'll call tomorrow with a settlement offer."

"And then it's over?"

He takes her hands, squeezes, "And then it's over."

She squeezes back. Doesn't thank him. Doesn't say anything else. Just goes right back to bed.

He's never been a quitter, always despised the thought of giving up. He'd been at this for so long, it's hard to remember how unsure he was about starting this fight when he'd first gotten into it. Just now though, holding her small hands in his and seeing that look in her eyes, giving up started to feel a lot like learning to let go.

"_And there will be a day_

_When you can say you're okay and mean it_

_I promise you it'll all make sense again_

_I promise you it'll all make sense again"_

"I think," Harvey says to Donna, after chancing a short glance at each of his girls—_his_ girls, "you're absolutely right."

After an incessant amount of pestering, Scottie breaks down and finally shows Heidi how she can still, in fact, make spaghetti noodles come out of her nose. Harvey makes fun of her for an outrageously long amount of time, and Gia takes a video, which Scottie demands her to swear will never see the light of day. When the staff comes over with Heidi's free dessert and a birthday song, Harvey takes a billion pictures, and Donna captures most of it on video as well. Scottie offers to take a photo of the family, but Harvey flags down a random waiter at the last second and pulls her into the crowd right next to Laura so that she can be in it as well. His arm wrapped around Donna's waist and Heidi perched in his lap, he finds his smile coming naturally, even before the photographer tells them all to say, "Cheese!"

There's absolutely no way that at this exact moment he could've possibly imagined everything in store for this family of his in the coming years. He wouldn't have predicted the amount of money spent on therapy and medication for Heidi's anxiety which only worsens with age. He wouldn't have possibly been able to understand the level of protectiveness he'd face when Gia gets her first girlfriend. Nor would he have been capable of comprehending the despair and fear he'd experience when Donna and Carmen have a huge falling out just after her seventeenth birthday and the girl manages to scream, "You're not even my mom!" before leaving them for months with no contact at all.

But what he does know, is that in this very moment, surrounded by these kids and the people who love them the most, that he is an eternity away from the man who met a woman at that bar all those years ago. That Harvey exists in an alternate reality, one in which his biggest problem is a mother who asks him to lie, and whose biggest fear is rejection of the woman he wishes to spend the rest of his life loving. That Harvey was left behind a long time ago, with only the scars on his heart and the wisdom in his eyes as proof that he once existed at all.

They leave the restaurant ten minutes after 11:00 with a stack of leftovers and hands full of Heidi's birthday presents. The drive back to the house is long and uneventful, managing to put the younger two girls to sleep before they reach their destination. Once all the girls are tucked safely into their beds, Harvey grabs Donna's hand and drags her out the back door and down the stairs to that little spot of land where the grass starts to become sparse enough that you can see the sand.

"What is it?" she asks, knowing he's got something he needs to say.

"This, right here," he gestures to nothing in particular, but the surrounding area in general. "It's everything. You're everything, The girls..._our_ girls. We've got everything, and I just want you to make sure I never forget it."

She smiles, and even though he can barely see it in the darkness, he knows it's there.

"I won't," she promises.

"Good."

And then he kisses her, and, well, he's absolutely certain now that everything is all going to be just fine.

"_Oh, tie up the boat_

_Take off your coat_

_And take a look around_

_Everything is alright now"_

**Welp, that's finally all, folks. Thanks for sticking it out long enough to make it to the end, Like I said, I really hope the happy ending was worth it :)**

**p s - here's a list of all the songs (in order) used between scenes: Amie (Damien Rice), Unbroken (Birdy), By Your Side (The 1975), A Safe Place to Land (Sara Bareilles), Kings Highway (James Bay), Sparks (Coldplay), Faithful Heights (Night Beds), Safe and Sound (Taylor Swift), West (Sleeping At Last), You (Keaton Henson), Heal (Tom Odell), I Hurt Too (Katie Herzig), Los Angeles (Peter Bradley Adams), All the Beds I've Made (Caroline Spence), To Build a Home (The Cinematic Orchestra), Normal Song (Perfume Genius), Secret For the Mad (Dodie), Rainbow (Kacey Musgraves). Or, feel free to dm me on twitter ( whipdstrwbrries) for a link to the playlist I made ;)**


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